Most of you would have thought that this entry would have belonged onto my Jionglish blog, where I “let rip” my latest discoveries on the curious language amalgamation unique to Greater China. But I find that merely classifying such lingo gibberish like UP AND DOWN PLACES TEMPORARILY (for “Makeshift Bus Stop”) doesn’t do the story much justice.

Chinglish is so-called precisely because it makes reference to the situation of the language here in China. It’s not just about botching up translations. It has more to do with the fact that, short of getting people outside the PRC’s language safety zone (and bringing them up overseas with an international education), people just won’t do English right here. Two very big issues:

• Outside one-to-one classes, nobody’s going to get much time to speak in English. I’ve been teaching everything, everywhere, from primary school to adult education since late 2000, and I’ve seen only some noted progress with students whom I’ve taught one-to-one. Basically, it’s because you can have up to 50% of the time getting the student to speak. Once that student wants to speak and can speak, that’s progress. Talking in English creates a language environment; you need that to get lingo mileage in English.
• The total or near-total lack of interaction in many a Chinese school creates “mute” English students. This is more a cultural issue. The United States pioneered talk-back media; China did not. The United States had contested elections between Rutherford and Hayes; China did not (the closest variants were coming to Beijing and overthrowing the dynasty that “used to be here”). In a similar vein, students in the West are free to challenge their teachers at will; in China, you’d be looked upon very funnily. (I did that once: the teacher instantly rebuked me and went, “From where are you from?”; up went my arm with a Swiss passport in hand. After class, there were more than a few students who were furious with me.)

China has got to come outside its “safety / comfort zone” when it comes to keeping teachers “safe”. Teachers need a fair bit of challenging. I do not advocate “in-class wars”, but I wish teachers gave students a second mic, so to speak, so to allow healthy dialogue in history class, as well as to give students real opportunities to speak in English.

There are a few more further issues when it comes to this very topic — Chinglish in China:

• First, there simply aren’t enough expat teachers around except for in some of the best schools in town. Expats coming here need a taste of the real China. (Little hint for would-be expat teachers coming to China: get outside of your McDonald’s / Starbucks “safety zone”, although having blogged this up at a Beijing Starbucks, it’s a little bit ironic at that.) Don’t deny “real” English to those in major metropolises.
• Second, end the so-called “two racisms”. There’s a massive preference for “white, Western-looking” teachers who can speak American English. Doesn’t make sense to me. I’ve hosted or co-hosted radio shows in Beijing in UK English; I refuse to go American. (Hah!) There’s also a terribly racist factor in “only” choosing Western-looking teachers (probably because local heads of school fear that “teachers of the Chinese race can only teach Chinglish”, which if you ask me is total nonsense). There’s a huge reserve of overseas Chinese who can speak UK or US English who would, on the phone (without iPhone’s FaceTime on, of course), sound like yet another Brit or American — seriously.
• Last but not least, leave the bulk of English language teaching to those competent to do so. In my undergraduate English class back in 2003, the teacher (who was a female local), had a horrible Chinglish accent. She could on no occasion pronounce “usually” well — it was always “ururlly” instead. Awful accent. We had a Taiwanese who could speak much better English than that. Don’t hog up the microphone if your English won’t cut it. We don’t expect the Queen’s English (Cockney would work), but we don’t want sub-par English to ruin our ears and force Chinglish out our mouths.

I’m off to yet another one-to-one lesson — thankfully, the student, an extremely competent 10-year-old obsessed to Angry Birds (like me and Tracy) has given me a very good time — she is extremely imaginative and talkative. One of the easiest lessons to teach today…